The Bible portrays man as the pastor, priest and the King of his home. Man as husbands and sons of families are meant to be guiding families to walk the moral path as well as be the role models that launch the young generations into a future full of hope, love and security.
However, there are many reasons why we see in today’s time this not being the case, men have actually turned away from their primary function which is that of protecting complementing efforts of their spouses and female companions.
As we have noticed, most men these daysabandon their homes and mothers have to raise the children on their own. Many young people growing up in these environments are growing up with so much anger and if undealt with can cause abusive behaviours when misdirected.
In other instances, some young men grow up in homes where the fathers abuse their mothers and though the young sons swear they do not want to be like their fathers, psychologically certain traits are planted which manifest in the form of abuse.
This century has seen many women being successful and most men on the back bench regarding employment and education. Some men because of their ego end up abusive to their independent successful wives as a means of just trying to regain their authority.
Not having a serious relationship with God has caused many to fail in their role and responsibilities as husbands.
In other instances, a lot of unresolved issues some from childhood and some from previous relationships can live scars that sometimes manifest in violence toward their partners.
Trust issues are part of the main cause of abuse as some controlling man who do not trust their wives end up being abusive because they are insecure. Women also do the same where trust issues are present in some cases.
When the marriage is founded on wrong values, abuse can manifest later. One ought to ask themselves if they marred targeting security or because of true love. Some women are in marriages for the money and get involved with man who dishonour them and do not value them.
Sometimes, societal pressures have pushed so many young men and women into abusive marriages. No one should enter a relationship because they are desperate, they are now old and everyone is getting married but only because they have found their soul mate. Pairing up in an incompatible relationship can give rise to abuse issues arising.
Most people always learn but never apply. Even some church people who are taught the word consistently can be abusive. They learn but never apply the word they are taught to respect, honour and cherish their wives as the weaker vessels.
Unfaithfulness is a huge problem. Either the man trying to stop his wife from cheating or a man trying to cover up his cheating habits can manifest into different forms of abuse.
Abuse can be physical, psychological and even financial. Should we seat behind and not be involved? No! The church is the clinic for things spiritual and physical. The church can be involved in the following ways:
Ensure that all young people in the church in relationships go through premarital counselling to prepare them for marriage.
Conduct marital teachings post marriage to married and unmarried alike to ensure Godly principles are entrenched into the lives of church members.
Workshops and discussions on abuse need to be openly discussed in churches to ensure that congregates get better understanding. Some people begin to see that they are not on their own when issues are discussed. Without compromising the victims, the church can assist with information of help centres contacts, police details and other relevant to ensure abuse is stopped.
Rather stay alive than continue in an abusive relationship. Everyone has one life to live and everyone needs to make a choice to choose life. If it’s not working, seek help and if the partner doesn’t change, seek godly counsel to map your way forward. Man as in most cases the likely perpetrators need to be part of this discussion so that they can understand how women feel and be part of the solution.