IN the past two articles we looked at the family as an institution and one of the relationships that young people have that is important to them and their development. This week we move to another relationship, the friends that young people make and have.
By Fadzayi Maposah
The Oxford dictionary defines a friend as a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. Young people can also refer to their friends as chommie, chum, my person, my guy, buddy.
Friends can be of the same sex or of the opposite sex.
There is a saying that goes: You will be exactly the same person that you are today in the next 10 years save for the books that you read and the people that you associate with.
In the adolescent years, the friend is very important. At times the young person can opt to talk to their friend more than family members. The reasons are many and varied. To start with the ages are probably closer or the same. Age then links to the developmental stages and the interests that are shared.
It becomes easier to share that the beard is not growing as was expected with a friend rather than with the parent. The adolescent may feel that the parent or guardian is out of touch with what is happening. The other reason is that the friend because they could be going through the same tends to be a better listener and can relate to what the young person is going experiencing.
Some young people find solace in their friends because their families appear not to have time for them or are judgemental when they share issues. A young person can say to their parent or guardian that they are not happy with their appearance and instead of the parent empathising or taking time to listen, the adult can just dismiss it. What that does is push the young person away.
One can have good or bad friends.
Friendships have influences on the young person. A good friend can help the young person to develop themselves in the different facets of life. A good friend can help the young person to devote time to studying and goal setting.
Exercise is one aspect of health that is critical for all individuals no matter the age. A good friend can become an exercise mate for a young person and as friends they can make time to engage in activities that not only have a bearing on the physical health but the mental health aspects too. Young people as friends can play different sports and in the process also bond well.
Other positive influences that young people can derive from friendships include fashion, arts and developing spiritually through attending prayer meetings and participating in youth activities within their faith based organisations.
Turning to the negative aspect, young people can influence one another as friends to cheat on parents and teachers. In this respect young people can cover for one another as bad friends. An example is when a parent has the friend`s mobile number and calls to check on their child and the friend says that their child has just left and should be home soon yet the young person will be in another place.
Bad friends can also `teach` or encourage one another to steal and lie and provide alibis for one another in the cases that the stealing or lying has been detected. What has been obtained from the stealing or lying can then be shared.
Young people are experimental and in some instances can be risk takers. If one falls into a gang of bad friends, the young person can start taking health risks including smoking, drinking, drugs and indulging in early sexual activity.
It is important for young people to choose their friends wisely and soberly. While young people are born into families, friends are by choice. The choice can lead to much joy or a lot of misery.
Next article will look at how to make friends and also identify whether one is a good or bad friend
