INASMUCH as parents or guardians are at the receiving end of shame, guilt, and embarrassment when their children are taking harmful drugs and substances, it is important for them to be patient and supportive to fight drugs and substance abuse.
By Kuda Pembere
This was said during a Parents taking charge against drugs and alcohol abuse workshop on Saturday. In separate interviews, it emerged that parents or guardians needed to be less judgmental of their children. Ms Jacqueline Rugayo from Seed Foundation who organized the event said the battle against drugs and substance abuse can be won only if the parents do not give up on their children.
My message to parents is we can do this. We can fight and you don’t have to do this alone. There is help out there. Just believe. Don’t allow yourself to give up on your child. Your child needs you not to give up on them.
“Do you know sometimes we have given up on children? When under addiction, it actually possesses you because you are influenced in everything that you do. They can’t even help themselves and most people will tell you that I wanted to come out and I couldn’t,” said Ms Rugayo.
She said those drug and substance abuse were sick people who need attention and care from their loved ones.
“It is like when I am sick and you neglect me, it is not fair. They are under the influence. They are under a chemical. They need us to pull them out. When you see someone taking drugs, they are the most miserable and depressed.They are screaming for help in the inside but their body and flesh is making these demands. They are bound by what they take. Don’t assume they are happy because most of them end up killing themselves. Step away from the child and understand the child that is within the drugs.”
She added that this fight is not to be left to government alone.
“I was feeling like as parents we have given up. The issue is so bad. We have been harmed. We have been angered by our children. We don’t know what is happening with our children. We are even mad with them because some of them have beaten us up or something like that and yet we are the ones to put a stop on it to say no to my child.
“The fight is bigger for the parents because they are the first protective wall. We are the ones who feel the pain these children go through. We are the face to fight. We cannot delegate this fight to anyone else. We can’t delegate it to the government. They are doing everything they can. We cant delegate it to them or the churches or to the schools. It is our fight as parents. Then everyone should come to support us,” said Ms Rugayo.
Pamumvuri founder Jacob Shamuyarira who co-hosted the event said the event was a huge success as parents got to learn what their children need and go through and vice versa.
“The voice of the parent has been left out and messages have been developed around the young people. For example the message which goes Say no to drugs. But we thought to bring in an angle which speaks to how addiction affects individuals, families and how it affects communities,” he said.
Pastor Mike Bokta said he witnessed there was a lot of hurt between parents and children which could be resolved through patience and paying attention.
“I thought today with the Seed Foundation was amazing. There is a lot of things that I learned that I didn’t know and there is a lot of hurt. What I noticed that is kind of amazing is that the parents kind of feel like the children.
“Like they both feel the other is not paying attention and all that kind of stuff. I think we need to remember when we were that age. When we were youths and stuff we didn’t believe or listen to our parents either. We just need to give everybody grace and I think there is a lot of hope here.
“Like I always say, to get rid of the darkness you need to bring in the light. I just hope churches and foundations come together and really fight this. Drugs are drugs. They don’t discriminate.,” he said.
Pastor Dani said it was important for parents to get together with other parents.
“At times they might feel alone or embarrassed or they don’t want to say that my son or daughter is in this situation. They might feel like they are being judged by other people. With parents together, coming up with solutions and always praying for their kids no matter how old they are.
