By Michael Gwarisa
Sometimes she slams doors, shatters furniture, and shouts at anyone nearby. But she wasn’t always like this. Barbra Cullinan (42) of Chinhoyi, Mashonaland West, now lives in perpetual fear of men, their presence a constant reminder of the horrific ordeal she endured on November 26, 2022, during the month of her birthday.
On that fateful day, Barbra attended a funeral to pay her last respects to a close relative. Unbeknownst to her, a man she knew had sinister intentions. Amid the grief and mourning, he saw an opportunity.
We had just buried our loved one,” she recounted, tears streaming down her face during an Editors’ Workshop organized by the National AIDS Council (NAC) in Chinhoyi. “As I was waiting for transport back to town from the cemetery, a man I knew offered me a ride.”
Like most rape victims, Barbra knew her attacker. Data shows that the majority of rapes are committed by people familiar to the victim—friends, colleagues, family members, or partners.
“I got in and asked if he was returning to the house where the funeral had taken place. He said yes. When we arrived, I got out, trying to find transport home. He insisted I shouldn’t worry, he would drop me off since it was late.”
The other passengers who had boarded the same vehicle had already disembarked, leaving Barbra alone with him. Trusting him was a mistake.
“Along the way, he picked up his phone and acted like he was on a call. He just said, ‘Hello, yes, sure, I’m coming,’ then suddenly changed the route. He drove deep into the industrial area, away from residential spaces.”
When Barbra questioned the sudden detour, he stopped the car, locked the doors, moved to the back seat where she was, and physically attacked her before raping her.
Seeking Justice
After the assault, Barbra confided in her family, who helped her report the case to the police. She underwent HIV testing and received medical care. The perpetrator was arrested and convicted.
“He was sentenced to seven years in prison,” Barbra recalled. “But after just four months, he was released. Now, I see him every day.”
Barbra feels betrayed by the justice system. “I approached the High Court to challenge his release, but I was told he had appealed his sentence. Now, I have to live knowing he walks free.”
A Struggle with Mental Health
The trauma of the attack, compounded by the failure of the justice system, has severely impacted Barbra’s mental health.
“My family took me to the hospital, and I was admitted to the Psychiatric Department for treatment. I became wild and violent,” she shared. “Even now, my life is shattered. I can’t be intimate with a man without reliving what happened to me. It has destroyed my love life.”
Barbra admits she now fears men and struggles with sudden violent outbursts. “Sometimes, I’m just baking, and out of nowhere, I start throwing things. Other times, I spend money uncontrollably. It feels terrible.”
The Psychological Toll of Rape
According to psychological research, rape survivors often experience both short- and long-term mental health challenges. One of the most common effects is self-blame, which slows or even prevents healing.
Fabian Musoro, a mental health expert with the Ministry of Health and Child Care (MoHCC) emphasized the deep connection between physical and psychological well-being.
“There is no physical health without mental health. The two are inseparable. If something is troubling you mentally, you may develop physical symptoms, and vice versa,” he said.
Other common emotional and psychological effects of rape include Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Severe anxiety and depression, Flashbacks, reliving the trauma, Borderline personality disorder, Sleep and eating disorders among others
Barbra’s story is not unique. It represents the struggles of many rape survivors who not only battle the trauma of sexual violence but also endure a system that often fails them. While she continues her fight for justice, her biggest battle remains within, against the haunting memories that refuse to fade. NB// Barbra consented to having her story and image published without withholding her identity.
If You Need Help: Musasa Project (24-hour helpline): +263 778 116 251, Adult Rape Clinic (ARC): +263 242 708 190, Zimbabwe Women Lawyers Association (ZWLA): +263 242 250 380: If you or someone you know has experienced sexual violence, please seek support from trained professionals. No one should have to suffer in silence.
