IT seems those days when men used to enjoy exclusive rights to pleasuring women sexually are fast coming to an end. Just like the now obsolete Dodo, the Dildo will soon replace the penis. It’s going to be an era like never before, there shall be gnashing of teeth as reality will soon hit men that they are not the only option out there and before they even know it, they will find themselves fighting for a spot in a world dominated by Polythene and rubber sex toys.
By Michael Gwarisa
Every day and because of advancements in technology, humans are getting closer and attached to non-human objects such as mobile phones, computers, and social media, not forgetting sex toys. Zimbabwe is currently gripped with reports of a minor girl who was in the habit of purchasing sex toys from a 23 year old Harare Sex Toys merchant. The case is still in the courts.
The use of sex toys is not a new phenomenon in Zimbabwe. However, it appears there has been increased use of the gadgets of late especially during the lockdown period when many were confined to their homes with little or no company at all and to escape the loneliness, masturbation especially using sex toys became a norm.
Though there are no official statistics for Zimbabwe regarding usage and purchase of sex toys since majority of the sex toys are either smuggled into the country, a 2021 study published in the Journal of Psychosexual Health notes that sales of sex dolls, lingerie and sex toys increased during COVID-19 lockdowns in countries such as Australia, Britain, Denmark, Colombia, New Zealand, Italy, Spain, France, India, North America and Ireland, possibly due to the same panic buying impulse that prompted toilet paper hoarding.
Even though Sex toys are most commonly used in gay and lesbian relationships, some heterosexual and non-gay individuals have since adopted sex toys to spice up their bedroom life.
Speaking in an interview with HealthTimes, leading Psychologist in Zimbabwe, Dr Kudakwashe Muchena said society needs to accept that the traditional ways of doing things with regards to sex and intimacy have changed completely.
We are now living in a world where people are getting attached to and are getting fascinated with non-human objects. This is not just specifically to sex toys but also if you look at how our young people have become so addicted to their phones, video games etc. You realise that the human interface is using its thrust and a lot of people are now gravitating towards trusting non-human objects,” said Dr Muchena.
He added that the growing use of sex toys especially by girls including those who are yet to get married is evidence that slowly, girls are losing the emotional attachment to males and they no longer depend on men to be happy sexually.
“In this case, when we are talking about sex and dildos these are things that come with very little emotional attachment because it doesn’t lead to a heartbreak of some sort. This also speaks to two things. Firstly, our girls no longer need that emotional attachment anymore, for them sex is a game that you can play on your own and win or get what you want.
“Secondly, it seems our boys are no longer that compassionate, that loving or that caring to the extent that girls are now seeking solace or comfort in non-human objects. In this case, they are seeking sexual pleasure from non-human objects because they realize that the boys are not available to give them that satisfaction. The boys are somewhere busy doing things whilst the girls feel neglected and so forth so they have chosen to experiment on things that satisfy themselves.”
Dr Muchena believes widespread feminist interventions in the country have also given birth to the independence of women and the realization that they don’t necessarily need men to be happy economically and sexually.
“To some extent, it’s an indication of a change in the way relationships are viewed by girls. They no longer need a man in their lives to be happy. This is a feminist approach that is developing in our societies that we are seeing women becoming more and more independent. Firstly, they became financially independent, they are now working making their money and enjoying themselves. Secondly, we are now seeing them drifting away from men sexually.
“In the end, we are going to have very independent strong women and very independent desperate strong men. We are going into a society where men and women don’t have anything in common anymore. What men can do, women can find it elsewhere and it is quite a sad reality. I am not sure how children will be born in the future because as long as we have started this experimentation and doing things this way, chances are that marriages and relationships will no longer be as fashionable as they are today,” said Dr Mchena.
He also said most girls won’t be opting to get married soon because there won’t be seeing any benefit they can derive from the marriage either economically or emotionally and those who marry will probably be doing it just for procreation purposes, that is if they do not take the artificial insemination route.
“We are going into a place where we will have more single women and more single men. Women are to choose when they want to have children or not. For them, sex will no longer be about pleasure but a procreation activity and not a pleasure activity because they find pleasure wherever and whenever they want.”
